Being the Sneaky McSneakster that I am, I am looking for any way to give myself an advantage over my girlfriend as I attempt to sell a screenplay before she does. As for now, she has the advantage since she has several completed scripts her under belt, a published book and the fact that she made of one of her scripts into a film last summer. So, without further adieu, and because I have a short attention span, here are the top 5 ways I have determined that I can infiltrate Hollywood and thus sell my script first.
1. Pose as an ethnic orphan in hopes that Angelina and Brad will adopt me. Well, maybe just Angelina, rowrâ€¦
2. Find out what all the studio heads drive, then rear-end them on Santa Monica Blvd. When they are shouting angrily into their cell at their insurance company, I can toss my script in their backseat. Score.
3. Get a job at Promises rehab center, because thatâ€™s where all the celebs hang out.
4. Befriend some paparazzi as they know everything about what is going down in Hollywood and where at, which can provide me with some great blackmail material.
5. Use newfound paparazzi friends to follow me around snapping my picture wherever I go, thus making myself an insta-celebrity. And we all know that Hollywood only wants a piece of you when they think everyone else does.
This post was submitted to the Group Writing Project over at ProBlogger. Let’s hope that I win so that I can get my hands on a copy of Final Draft. Or maybe Iâ€™d use the prize money to pay those paparazzi to follow me like the hungry vultures that they are. Muah hahaha.