I’ve looking, or at least trying to look, at screenplays of successful but craptastic movies online, you know to give me an idea of what really needs to be on page one. Well, it’s not working out so well for me. Most of the scripts I want to see, like the Da Vinci Code, are just not avaialable online for free. And when I do find one, it doesn’t have page numbers. Now, of course I know that page one is indeed the first page, but I’m more concerned with where it ends. How much is actually page one?

Tomb Raider was one of the first craptastic movies to enter my mind. At first, I couldn’t find the script anywhere. Then, finally, I found it. My heart rejoiced, I announced my victory to my girlfriend who was in the same room. Then the webpage loaded. If you look at the page here, you’ll notice something rather tragic when you start to read it. Let me highlight it for you in case you missed it.


I’ll be damned! That was the only page I wanted to see! Bastards!