Toady on the way to my boring accounting job, I had a miniature epiphany, which in no way resembles a miniature schnauzer. See, I had the forming thoughts of an actual idea for this script. Not a complete idea, thus the miniature part. However, I didn’t let that stop me from gloating. As soon as I got to my desk, I fired off a snarky email to my girlfriend letting her know that I was on the cusp of greatness.

Then, by 10am or so, I came up with my Act II metaphor scene, which will be on index card #5. Excited by my progress, I felt the need to gloat again, so I fired off another email in my typical lack of attention to spelling/capitalization/grammar rules,

i have my page 45 act II metaphor scene. oh yes, i am the tripe master, no, the tripe czar, no….the tripe ninja!

That’s right, I’m a smack talker. I don’t know if there is a 12-step program for it, but I should really look for one. I mean, ferchrissakes, I don’t even have a whole idea and I’m talking smack! But, it didn’t get her all riled up at all…

i’m fairly certain you are all three

Then, on my lunch break I’m telling her how I have about 3/4 of my idea, but I’m stuck on what the villian/obstacle will be, and she doesn’t miss a beat, telling me that David Caruso’s acting will be my obstacle. Touche.

And just now, unprovoked, I swear, she sends me this…

and I am working on my script. be afraid, be very afraid… are those the bells of victory I hear?

To which I reply,

 yeh, and i’m ringing ’em

And, apparently realizing that it is indeed me ringing those victory bells, there is a noticeable silence on her end. I do hope she is preparing her concession speech.

Day 2 of the Lazy Bastards Guide to Screenwriting: From Nothing to Genius in 31 Days post will be up later today.