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Screenwriting MoFo’s Hollywood Trends that Need to End

After seeing Cinematical’s Hollywood Trends That Need to End, I decided that they’d left off some things that I think need to end as well.

Hollywood Trend #1 that needs to end – Singers trying to act/actors trying to sing

I never needed to see Jamie Foxx singing on screen. And I really didn’t need to hear him and Kanye everytime I turned on the radio. Golddigger, what a stupuidass song.
The Kelly & Justin movie – why? No one needed to see that. In fact, I don’t even think anyone saw it. And that says a lot because the general population is pretty stupid and if even they knew not to see it, wow…

Madonna – she was great in Dick Tracy and A League of Their Own. As for her other films? She was great in Dick Tracy and a League of Their Own

Hollywood Trend #2 that needs to end – girls making out on screen with no payoff

If you’re going to show me girls making out on screen, Wild Things, then don’t be a pansy-ass about it and show me more than a little of this and a little of that. If I can sit through Maria Bello and Viggo Mortensen shagging on the stairs in A History of Violence, then I can definitely handle a sex scene in D.E.B.S.

Hollywood Trend #3 that needs to end – remaking old movies with all black casts

Why are old white-man movies getting remade into all-black comedies? Black movies are good, so why do they wanna copy some old school all-white stuff? I say keep cranking out How Highs and Drumlines and we’ll call it even. Drumline was a schweet movie yo.

Oh and Tyler Perry should keep cranking out the Madea movies. Funny shit. And put Queen Latifah in everything. Man, I love her.

Hollywood Trend #4 that needs to end – teen drama stars in film leads

James Van Der-whats-his-name, aka Dawson, from Dawson’s Creek got Varsity Blues and other stuff when his show was hot. Sarah Michelle Gellar, check. Pacey from Dawson’s Creek, check. Katie Holmes, check. Scott Wolf, check. Wait…Scott Wolf? Scott Wolf? What the hell? See the problem here Hollywood?
When I see Mischa Barton and someone from Laguna Beach as the leads in something, well, that will be the last straw.

Hollywood Trend #5 that needs to end – has-beens that continue to get employment.

Tom Cruise, Kevin Costner, Dennis Quaid…should I go on?

1 Comment

  1. Drumline was not a “schweet” movie…

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