See Me Sell A Screenplay

movies 'n such

Want to write a boring movie?

Today, on Variety.com, tips on how to write the most uninteresting and destined to be most boring movie ever made.

Step one, break Screenwriting MoFo’s Hollywood Trends that needs to end #5 by casting Kevin Costner.

Step two, add Dennis Hopper, Kelsey Grammer, Stanley Tucci, Nathan Lane and George Lopez.

Step three, toss in an unknown chica (newcomer Madeline Carroll)

Step four, announce this cast list as if to entice the American public. (i’ve got news for you Hollywood, they’re stupid but not THAT stupid)

Step five, concoct a shitty storyline like:

an apathetic working-class single dad who’s thrust on the world stage when the presi-dential election comes down to his vote

Step six, be dumb enough to think this actually sounds entertaining to someone

Step seven, find that dumb fuck that finds it entertaining and start pre-production

1 Comment

  1. In a public statement, Costner says he will try to keep this movie under 18 hours long. But he makes no promises.

Comments are closed.