See Me Sell A Screenplay

movies 'n such

Category: Lazy bastards guide (page 2 of 4)

Day 28 – so much for that

Well, apparently the boss wanted to get to work early to work on her screenplay too, as she was here when I arrived…an hour early. Drats.

This means I will have to be super sneaky and work on the script without anyone noticing that I’m not doing my work. I accept the challenge.

I will also be participating in the Action Heroine Blog-a-thon tomorrow, which means I need to be cranking out that post today.

So, go ahead, cue the Gloria Gaynor music, cause this tripe writer will survive.

Day 27 – I did some writing

Oh yes, it is indeed true. I did some writing today. Not a lot, but a little bit of writing.

But, here’s the thing.

It was not on the script!

But I have a plan.

Step 1 – Get to work before my boss tomorrow.

Step 2 – Work on script instead of working.

Step 3- Day dream about preparing to claim victory after day 31 this week.

Day 26 – pancakes all around

On my to-do list for today was: write, write, write.

Want to know what I did?

Not write.

But I did have some delicious pancakes with fresh blackberry compote for breakfast.  It’s not screenwriting related, but it might just have been the most exciting part of my day.

On my behalf, I did think about the writing. Then I thought, ‘eh, I have all day tomorrow.’

Maybe I’ll write tomorrow. Maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll stay up all night at the last minute like in college and pull something amazing outta my ass.  It’s happened before.

Day 25 – I think I can, I think I can

The writing is still coming pretty easy and I think it’s coming together quite nicely. I’m up to page 34 and I know what is going on page 45. Basically, I have a clear idea of what gets me to 45, and then I expect it to get a bit more difficult. And boring. But, whatcha gonna do?

Asses must be kicked, so the script must be written.

 So, here I am, up 34 pages with about 80 left to write and a clock ticking down the days.

It could be worse though. I could be taken out of a courtroom crying and screaming for my mother.

Day 24 – sidelined with an injury

The clock is ticking down, I only have a few days to transform myself to a screenwriter with a genius (and completed) script. So, here I was, typing furiously. I got up to page 26 and then it happened.

An injury to beat all injuries.

A ghastly papercut on the knuckle of my middle finger on my left hand.

Small, yet excruciatingly painful. Oh the agony.

Now, when I complete that script in 31 days, my story will have evolved. I will be the cripple that defied all odds and wrote a screenplay in 31 days that will sell before my girlfriend’s script.

Oprah will want to do a movie of the week on me. 

You’ll see me on Montel telling my heartbreaking story of triumph.

Pre-order your tissues now.

Day 23 – a day of nothingness

I decided to take a break from writing the script today. Okay, actually, I just had to actually do work at work – can you imagine? What a bummer that was to get to work and have work to do just sitting in my inbox. Bastards. I’d channel my work frustration into a script, but why bother when there is Office Space. And honestly, can it get any better than Office Space? I think not.

Thanks to my work making me work for my monay, I now have even less time to complete the script as I am still at 21 pages. I aiming for around 114 pages. Looks like my weekend will be spend screenwriting. Dammit man.

Day 21 – I can feel the pressure

Eeks, only 10 days left. I don’t know if I am ready to be a genius in 10 days. And that IS the plan, remember, from nothing to genius in 31 days. Going from nothing to genius in 31 days must be kinda like puberty. You know, there are signs that it’s going on and then you go to sleep one night and wake up the next morning and you don’t look like a kid anymore. And I’m not talking about the Tom Hanks version of getting up and not looking like a kid.

I worked on the script a little at work today. It is oh-so-rewarding to get paid to work on tripe. I reworked some stuff that I had already written, even though I’m supposed to just be doing a draft. And I wrote some more. I’m up to 14 pages now. I’m just moving right along here. Someone enter me into the geriatric marathon quick.

So, I got about a hundred pages left to write. 100 pages, 10 days. Can it be done? Oh yes, it most definitely can. The ass kicking campaign will commence shortly.

Day 20 – rewrite?

Uuh…kinda hard to rewrite when there are only 11 pages so far.

On tomorrow’s to-do list: make some changes to the schedule. less re-writing and more draft writing.

Day 19 – I got in trouble

I was excitedly telling my girlfriend my kickass idea for this script and how stoked I am about writing. Then I told her how my fan club president (that’s you, Joe) has asked about seeing a page or two and that I couldn’t wait to put up the first page.

That’s when she shot me down.

I’m not allowed to post the first page, or any page, until I finish it and get it registered with the WGA. Apparently, she can see my genius and thinks some assclown is just sitting at their computer, in a white tee stained with BBQ Lays residue where they wiped their pudgy little fingers, waiting to steal my brilliant idea. Assclowns ruin all the fun.

 Last night, I read my girlfriend’s script, or as I refer to  it ‘competition exhibit A,’ and my first thought was ‘whoa’ because she trimmed it down from like 150 pages to 118. Actually, that whoa was more like ‘fuck’ as in ‘fuck me, I’m about to get served.’

So, I got out my handy-dandy Hollywood movie formula checklist to see if she hit her marks.

  • Page 1, place, time, POV, mood established? Check.
  • Page 3, theme and central question established? Check.
  • Page 10, set it all up and reel ’em in? Check.
  • Page 30, see what hero needs & the obstacle? Check.
  • Page 45, clue to resolution? Check…dammit.
  • Page 60, point of no return, obstacles escalate? effin check.
  • Page 75, beginning to look like hero isn’t going to make it? *sigh* check.
  • Page 90, hero will get something different? ah, cripes. check.
  • Outcome, the outcome is that I just might be screwed. This is the tightest script she’s ever written, by Hollywood standards. I gots to step up my game yo.

I had someone ask me if there is a deadline to this contest – the answer is no. It could end in 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years…who knows? It only ends when one of us sells. Her script versus mine. Now, she’s kind of cheating since her script is done. AND she entered it into some fancy pants contest yesterday. But that’s okay, it doesn’t matter if she cheats. I will be the one doing the victory dance.

Day 18 – last day of draft writing

What can I say, I’m behind schedule. Not feeling well does that to ya. And it doesn’t hurt that I was alreadyy behind before getting the funk.

I am, however, still totally stoked about writing this and expect to finish up the draft over the weekend. And then, I will unveil some of the greatness. I know, you’ll be amazed. I tend to have that sort of effect on peeps.

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